Timing and Teachers

On 8/28/2012 I wrote:

The steps of my path have been winding, looping crooked things taking me past and through so many places and lives that it is a dizzying experience. I attempt to understand it all, to see the many sides as I whirl by. To mull it like spiced wine until it tastes right and rich within.

Synthesis and acceptance are the gifts of my journey. I love the world, it's scars and it's beauty, it's fragility and it's hardiness. I love the people, the sweet, the shy, the bold, the wild. The beautiful diversity of what is around fascinates me. Together, such a wondrous whole. Individually, such marvelous beings.

My path continues, always. The urge to teach is as strong as the urge to learn. I have moved from "Be" to "Grow" once again. This uncomfortable state both terrifies and woos me and I can't fight the wind of it. Embracing my imperfect duality was a step, knowing I was not alone was another. Each story I write externalizes my journey. I can learn from them as well as teach with them.

I am not broken, and neither is anyone else. This is the most important lesson of all, that each individual is exactly what they should be, following whichever guides they choose to follow. 

I posted this in my FetLife writings, but I didn't post what followed, what happened the very next day in a chatroom connected to a FetLife group I belong to. We were talking about rope, someone suggested I look up a certain well known presenter on rope bondage. One google search later and I’m looking at a teacher who resonates with me on so many levels. Down to “love” inked onto his skin. I know that what I need for my journey will come when I need it. I’ve known that for years, since I started to understand Path and Oracle. It’s really no surprise at all that I found, right after such a deep revelation, right after the first personal runic reading in years that screamed a resumption of my journey, right after the itchy feeling in the back of my head started up, right after the flock of crows that burst across my path, right after an emotional storm so strong it left me physically ill, someone who speaks to what I am becoming. 

The question is: can I find the courage to introduce myself after reading through blogs and journals and listening to podcasts while nodding and hissing "Yes!" to so much he's said, so much he's written? I'm not good at these things, I know. I'm an introvert, and I'm pretty socially awkward - unless the spirits are talking to me? Are they now? Well, I can say maybe. I mean, he just wrote about being human on his own FetLife profile. And in that more than a month since I first set eyes on his website, his name has been brought up to me over and over by people who don't know each other at all. Yesterday the crows were circling in flocks. Flocks of dozens of crows. When did I see them? In the car, while I was listening to one of those podcasts again. 

Maybe it's a good thing my guides can hit me over the head with a spiritual brick. I seem to need that every now and again. I am off, right now (in the middle of the night, of course) to write that introduction. Honest!