Authenticity

From Wikipedia: “Authenticity is a technical term used in psychology as well as existentialist philosophy and aesthetics. In existentialism, authenticity is the degree to which one is true to one's own personality, spirit, or character, despite external pressures; the conscious self is seen as coming to terms with being in a material world and with encountering external forces, pressures and influences which are very different from, and other than, itself.”

I think I'm spoiled.

I've been surrounding myself with authentic people - people who practice being themselves rather than worrying about trying to please others - for several years now without realizing that was what I've been doing. I’ve become used to folks who tell things like they are, make ribald comments, laugh at the antics of animals, get silly themselves, and have fun with life. It’s really helped me become a very positive person, despite some of the exceptionally awful things the world has thrown at me.

I strive to live authentically, myself. Sometimes that means I laugh at things that aren’t necessarily funny to other people. My sense of humor is odd and wry and kinky, but it’s mine. Sometimes it means I talk about talking to spirits and journeying in the spirit realm and being pagan to people in public places. Where I live, that means some people back away slowly - but that’s my reality, and I am honestly a little sad for the folks who don’t realize they’ve spoken to spirits themselves. If me saying something that makes people back away gives even one of them the chance to think “you know, I might have heard a spirit or two myself”, then I’ve done good. That’s just me. Sometimes it means that I bring my friends something I know they’d like for no particular reason, with no ulterior motive. That’s also me. Mostly though, for me, being authentic means just not worrying about what other people think.

And that’s why I’m surrounded by authentic people. I don’t worry about what they think, they don’t worry about what I think, and we’re just ourselves around each other. We’re not perfect. We piss each other off sometimes and argue sometimes and get frustrated with each other now and again. We’re mostly tolerant of other opinions but do have our own. We fail to hear each other sometimes and manage to hurt each other off and on, although I don’t think any of us means to be hurtful. And oddly enough, we’re still friends, still hang around each other, and still share opinions and ribald stories and laughter and joy. And we share each other’s pain.

So when a friend’s cow calves and we all ooh and ahh in our own ways and demand pictures so we can ooh and ahh some more, that’s just us being authentic. When someone announces even a tiny personal triumph and we all cheer, that’s just us. And when one of us admits she needs help and we all pitch in whatever we can, that’s us being authentic, too.

Human beings are not perfect, and each journey through this world isn’t perfect. We make mistakes and we learn from them. We even learn from other people’s mistakes, if we let ourselves see them. Reality is gritty and sleek and full of tasty variety to try out.

Some of my friends know the real me. They know I have two distinct web presences - one authentic me, which is here, on this page, and all over a lot of other places. And one limited “me” reserved for folks that I care about but don’t think are ready to accept all of me, where my odd and kinky sense of humor doesn’t get expressed and I only rarely talk about what the spirits have told me. I sometimes wish I didn’t feel the need for that limited presence, that mask that only shows part of me. It’s a wish that everyone were more tolerant, more compassionate, more caring, and brave enough to be themselves, authentically, every day.

I’ll continue to spread love, understanding and tolerance everywhere I can, through what I write and what I do and what I say.

Peace to you all, wherever you are on your own journey.