Again, the Cycle Turns.

I'd talk about grieving, but for me that's a process that I'm nearly done with , at least for now. At least where it applied to my Grandma. What I want to talk about here is the moving on of the spirit.

For the last few days of her life, I stopped in to see her off and on. She had good care. She didn't suffer. But there was something else going on within her.

Grandma had Alzheimer's Disease. I helped care for her for years. I watched what happened to her body, her mind, and her spirit. Her mind disintegrated. Her body withered. Her spirit drew in on itself, focused more and more inwardly. As her mind came apart, lost track of what was familiar and lived in anxiety, her spirit tightened within. When finally three months ago we sent her to a Nursing Home because we couldn't take care of her anymore, her spirit was a quiet, huddled bit of her. My sweet, generous, loving Grandmother was there, but had no way to communicate with us, maybe no way to know what was going on.

Those last few days were different. Morphine stilled the pain of her body. Sedatives soothed her damaged mind. And her spirit unwound.

I wish I could tell you what it looked like, but I don't "see" spirits. I could feel it relax, stretch, soften. That was the woman I knew, the one who gave so freely and always had time to listen to a child and try to explain the world in the most positive way. When life gave her lemons, she didn't stop at lemonade, she made pie. And in her last few days, she was present in that ruined shell, her spirit warm and loving.

I suppose I looked a little odd at her bedside, smiling while she gasped to breathe through the last stages of pneumonia. It's a bit hard to explain why I don't sound more like the grieving grandchild. How can I? I'm thrilled. Not only has her suffering ended, but her beautiful spirit is free again! It's an occasion for dancing, singing, shouting with joy.

I'll miss her. I love her. We'll meet again. All the rest is details.